Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Tehzeeb aur Nazakat

College days are undoubtedly the best days of one's life. You make friends, fall in love, bunk classes, take trips together, study a night before exams and eventually help your friends pass the examination. Those golden years of life also bring about a change in one's thought process, and build onto the character that will stay for the rest of the life.

Your company pretty much defines who you are. It's only wise to choose the right friends, while you still have the choice. I was more than lucky to have landed up with my bunch of friends in college. You may hail from the most diverse backgrounds but if your thoughts match, you’ll stick together.

It was these similar thoughts that brought Yetoo and me together. We belonged to the same region, but different religions. And yet somehow, our thoughts made us the best of buddies. We were practically of the same age group, have had similar relationship experiences in the past, and even preferred the same kind of girls.

It was during one of such conversations when we came unto the topic of what qualities a girl should ideally have. Good looks, yes. Smartness, yes. Sense of humor, yes! But above all, a girl should have tehzeeb and nazakat.

Sounds alien? Let me break it down for you. Both these words are derived from Urdu and are rather difficult to explain in English, but let’s give it a try.

Tehzeeb means something close to being ‘well-mannered.’ This includes your conduct with elders as well as young ones. A woman with tehzeeb knows how to respect others and thus wins hearts without trying.

Nazakat means delicacy. Of course, a woman should have a strong willpower and thoughts, but what makes her a lady in the first place is her delicacy. Her ability to be strong on the inside and yet somewhat tender on the outside is just another display of her multifaceted personality.

While I’m writing this post, Yetoo and I have moved to different cities. It shouldn’t be a shocker if our thoughts have changed with times. However, I still look forward to tehzeeb and nazakat in the woman I fall in love with, and hope Yetoo has found it in someone by now.

While this post may sound patronizing or sexist to some, it certainly wasn’t meant to be that way. It’s just an idea of what two young boys wanted in the girls they fell in love with. If this offends you in any way, please accept my apologies.

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